There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to give it your all on Valentine's Day, especially if you're in onenew relationshipand everything feels new and exciting. But if you've been together a while and your relationship is solid, V-Day doesn't have to be a big deal. According to experts, strong couples don't need a specific day of the year to affirm their love, and there are several good reasons for that.
"Many of us, single or married, may be feeling a little anxious for the day because we have decided that on any given day in the cold and miserable February, we will all test the strength, validity, or happiness of our relationships."Brooke Bralove, LCSW-C, psychotherapist and relationship expert, says Bustle. "It's really absurd when you look at it through that lens. However, many have learned to attach great importance to Valentine's Day, both in relation to their own behavior and that of their partners, e.g. B. "He doesn't know me since he bought me dark chocolate while I only eat milk chocolate." It's confirmed: he doesn't love me.
When you're surrounded by hearts, chocolates, and flowers, it's easy to get caught up in the hype. But as Bralove says: "really safe couplesthey regularly and spontaneously express love, appreciation and commitment in their relationship and do not have to prove anything to themselves. Your love can be celebrated on February 13 or 15 with the same ease and pressure as Valentine's Day.
After spending a lot of time loving someone, there are many other things to celebrate besides a calendar day that dictates how you show your feelings. But true love and unwavering devotion to another person should be celebrated way beyond thata dozen roses and a pair of Cupid's knickers. These are all reasons strong couples don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day if they don't feel the need to.
1. You don't have to flaunt your relationship status.
With TikTok and Instagram, some see Valentine's Day as a way to show off their relationship status. Because of this, February 14 can feel like a holiday when people compare their luck to others, says Bralove. But when you're part of a strong relationship, it can get to the point where you don't need to show your love to the rooftops anymore. You and your partner know you're doing fine, so there's no need to advertise online.
2. Spontaneous affection is a lot more fun.
Many long-term couples like to surprise their partners with unexpected gifts and love messages, which means that Valentine's Day doesn't really seem necessary. A sticky note here, a declaration of love there – these are the moments to cherish and remember, and not some random Tuesday in February.
3. The holidays come with unfair pressure
Since Valentine's Day can put a lot of pressure on couples, you may decide to save yourself by skipping the holiday altogether. That way, they don't have to buy gifts or make dinner plans and risk getting it wrong. Because "how many long-stemmed roses your partner gets you for Valentine's Day has little to do with your commitment, your intimacy, and your overall happiness in your relationship," says Bralove.
4. There are many other special days to celebrate
If you want to celebrate a special occasion, you can remember the day you met, your first kiss orWhen you finally said "I love you"These are the days that should be marked on the calendar and celebrated between the two of you. Strong couples know this, which is why Valentine's Day might seem like the least important day of love on the list. It's even more important to celebrate the days that are unique to your relationship.
5. You know that romantic love isn't the only love that matters.
Self love is an important factor in romantic love. That is why it is recommended to learn to love yourself before trying to love another person. Strong couples understand how difficult it is to practice self-love and value it above all else.
6. It's a day like any other
Strong couples probably wouldn't be upset if they found out they missed Valentine's Day. "Doing something for your partner or celebrating love for each other doesn't have to happen on a specific day."Maggie Drake, LMSW, a relationship expert at Cobb Psychotherapy, to Bustle. "Strong couples commit to celebrating their love, big and small, year-round, not just on a day chosen by society for them." In fact, the day can come and go without you realizing it.
7. Strong couples know what Valentine's Day means to them.
When you're in a strong relationship, it seems easy to talk about what the holidays mean to you, so chances are you've already talked about your feelings about Valentine's Day. If not, book in advance.valentines dayand explore what the holidays mean. "If there's a strong desire to celebrate in a certain way, the couple should communicate that," says Bralove. "So as with most things, there can be some negotiation around the holiday and maybe a better understanding of why Valentine's Day is important or not."
8. Sometimes it's more fun to boycott social norms
Rebelling against something as shallow as Valentine's Day with your partner by your side is romantic in its own way. For some couples, it's the way to celebrate the day together. That's when you can have onevalentines day, invite friends to a meeting or spend the night as usual.
9. Having a boyfriend shouldn't be a goal
There are so many things in life that are more important than going on a date on a certain day every year. Strong couples know the value of the things that really matter, and they know how fortunate they are to have the things that matter. When you thrive as a couple, spending time together and working every day to understand each other better, that's really all you need.
10. It hurts your connection
"For some strong couples who appreciate the love and connection they share, the emphasis on gift-buying can distract from the true meaning of the holiday," he says.Dra. Lindsay Popilskis, a licensed psychologist withRockland County hiking trails. If buying a card or box of chocolates just because of the date on the calendar seems silly to you, that's okay. According to Popilskis, letting go of the material side of things can make way for what's really important in your relationship.
11. They know it doesn't cement a relationship.
For a relationship to really work, you can't just do nice things on vacation. Strong couples know that true connection takes work every day, she saysJohn Carnesecchi, LCSW, CEAP, psychotherapist and founder andClinical Director at Gateway to Solutions. "Chocolate and flowers don't cement the relationship," she tells Bustle. "Love is work, it takes time and patience, and it can help in times of conflict and open the door to open communication." It's also something you should work on constantly, and not just on V-Day.
Fuentes
Brooke Bralove, LCSW-C, psychotherapist and relationship specialist
Maggie Drake, LMSW, Relationship Specialist at Cobb Psychotherapy
Dra. Lindsay Popilskislicensed psychologist withRockland County hiking trails
John Carnesecchi, LCSW, CEAP, psychotherapist, founder aClinical Director at Gateway to Solutions
This article was originally published on
FAQs
Is it OK to not celebrate Valentine's Day? ›
It matters not how you celebrate this one day, but how you treat your relationship on all the rest. Opting out of Valentine's Day isn't a reflection on your relationship or your love. It matters not how you celebrate this one day, but how you treat your relationship on all the rest.
What is it called when you don't celebrate Valentine's Day? ›Singles Awareness Day (or Singles Appreciation Day) is celebrated on February 15 each year. It is an unofficial holiday celebrated by single people.
What are the disadvantages of Valentine? ›Valentine's Day can be an incredibly expensive holiday to celebrate. Buying expensive jewelry, flowers, and dining at a nice restaurant might not even help your relationship and could even harm it. Valentine's Day leaves people in relationships with impossible expectations and leaves single people out.
Is Valentine's Day really necessary? ›Whether it's from your friends, family, pets or even yourself, Valentine's Day is a day to recognize that love exists in many forms. While relationships are fun and it can be great to have a partner to celebrate Valentine's Day with, it is not a necessary part of the holiday.
Why would someone not celebrate Valentine's day? ›Many people choose not to celebrate Valentine's Day citing that it originates with the honoring and worship of mythological gods. Others don't like the fact that it was once related to a pagan festival.
Is Valentine's day important in a relationship? ›By celebrating with your partner, you're building up the reward side of the equation. Celebrating something like a first date anniversary or Valentine's Day together is a celebration that happens to be marked on the calendar to remind one another that you care.
What religion is against valentines day? ›It can be also observed that different religious groups, including Hindu, Muslim and Christian people of India do not support Valentine's Day. In modern times, Hindu and Islamic traditionalists have considered the holiday to be cultural contamination from the West, a result of globalization in India.
Is it ok to not like Valentine's day? ›There is an escape: If you don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day, you don't have to. And yes, that's still true, even if you are fully boo-ed up and locked down. Celebrating this "holiday" is voluntary, no matter what Hallmark, 1-800-Flowers, or that heart-shaped Whitman's sampler box tells you.
Where do people not celebrate Valentine's day? ›Iran. Iran is an Islamic country ruled by religious clerics. The government has prohibited the production of all Valentine's Day gifts and items. The promotion of this romantic love celebration is also banned as it is cited as a spread of Western culture.
How do I not care about Valentine's Day? ›...
14… or any day for that matter.
- Don't pile on the pressure. ...
- Focus on giving over getting. ...
- Give something that has unique meaning to the receiver. ...
- Break the routine.
What's the difference between valentines and valentines? ›
The standard spelling of the holiday that falls on February 14th is Valentine's Day. Valentine is singular and possessive, so it takes an apostrophe s. This is how it is spelled in edited writing everywhere. The day is named after Saint Valentine.
Do people care about Valentines Day? ›About 62 percent of married people or those in a relationship said they loved the Feb. 14 holiday.
What is the real point of Valentine's Day? ›Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the third century. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine's Day.
Do men care about Valentines day? ›In fact, according to one study, over 50 percent of women said they'd dump a guy if he didn't get her anything for Valentine's. So, that said, most men will go out and spend over $100 trying to get it right on this most critical romantic holiday.
Is Valentines day more for the girl or guy? ›Only 47% of married couples still celebrate Valentine's Day while an overwhelming 71% of those in a relationship celebrate the event. Contrary to popular belief, more men celebrate Valentine's Day than women. In both Singapore and Thailand, 56% of men say they celebrate it as compared to 44% of women.
Do men enjoy Valentines day? ›When talking about Valentine's Day plans in their relationships, the majority of women (42 percent) and men (43 percent) feel excited and happy. And most single women and men would either throw a party with their other single friends or just do nothing on Valentine's Day.
What does Valentine's Day mean in the Bible? ›Valentine reminds us of the gift of God to mankind and true love of God in our hearts. That we have to also love the way God loves. God loves unconditionally and sacrificially, as He loves till the very end.
Do people feel lonely on Valentines Day? ›The traditions of Valentine's Day, as joyful and enjoyable as they may be, can intensify the feeling of loneliness for some who wish they were part of the fun. Loneliness is not confined to Valentine's Day. It is much more serious than a bout of the blues.
Is it normal to be alone on Valentine's Day? ›There are many reasons why you may find yourself alone on Valentine's day. Maybe you've chosen to be single or are not interested in a relationship. It's also possible that you're single for reasons outside of your control.
Do gifts matter in a relationship? ›We often give gifts to re-confirm or establish our connection with others, which means that they're a reflection of both the giver and the receiver, as well as their unique relationship. Giving a gift to someone we care about allows us to communicate our feelings and appreciation for them.
What percent of people are lonely on Valentine's Day? ›
The AARP Foundation survey revealed that non-married adults who don't have a significant other are more likely to feel lonely when thinking about Valentine's Day (26 percent) than those who are dating (19 percent) or those in a romantic relationship (6 percent).
Who created Valentine's day and why? ›Pope Gelasius I technically invented Valentine's Day in AD 496 when he established The Feast of Saint Valentine, in memory of the martyred saint who died on that day over 200 years before. The first known link between Valentine's Day and coupledom was February 14 1400 though.
What is the opposite of Valentines Day? ›S.A.D. – Single Awareness Day (The Opposite of Vday)
What day is anti Valentine's Day? ›The Anti Valentine's Week begins on February 15 with Slap Day and concludes on February 21 with Break-Up Day. Anti Valentine's week events have nothing to do with love. This week begins on February 15 with Slap Day and ends on February 21 with Breakup Day.
What is Single Valentines Day called? ›Originally, Valentine's Day became a SAD (Singles Awareness Day) day for people without significant others, so they decided to revolt and take that acronym back.
What cultures don't celebrate Valentine's Day? ›In places like Pakistan, Malaysia and Saudi Arabia, celebrating Valentine's Day with flowers, chocolates or a glass of wine could result in severe punishment.
What can I do instead of valentines? ›- Become "Starbucks Lovers" “We go together like coffee and roses, baby.” ...
- Picnic At A Cemetery. Ain't death romantic? ...
- Be A Class Act. ...
- Head For Fast Food. ...
- Make a Permanent Mark. ...
- Get Back to Nature. ...
- Find Out Your Future. ...
- Volunteer At A Soup Kitchen.
...
Throw an anti-Valentine's bash.
- Hand out black roses, play singles games, and have people exchange gag gifts. ...
- Order a Valentine's Day piñata, and let everyone take turns smacking it a time or two. ...
- Spend some time developing fun anti-Valentine's Day invitations.
Labor Day Facts Every American Should Know
What does the Bible say about Valentine's Day? Since the origin of Valentine's Day as a romantic holiday only dates back to the 14th century, the Bible doesn't have any specific messages about the day—but it does have a lot to say on the subject of love.
Flirt Day is celebrated on the fourth day of Anti-Valentine's Week. Every year, Flirt Day falls on february 18, after Slap Day, Kick Day and Perfume Day. Flirt day is all about making the first move and the first impression.
Do people break up before or after Valentine's day? ›
If a relationship is nearing its end as Valentine's Day approaches, 45% agree that it's best to break up before the day, while 14% believe one should wait until after the holiday to pull the plug. A small percentage (5%) say that breaking up on Valentine's Day itself is the most appropriate course of action.
Is it OK to be single on valentines? ›In fact, Valentine's Day can be a great opportunity to indulge in fun activities, whether it's a solo dinner or some self-care. Just because you don't have a significant other doesn't mean you can't commemorate this holiday with some self-love.
Is Valentines Day only about love? ›St Valentine's Day is an annual festival to celebrate romantic love, friendship and admiration. Every year on 14 February people celebrate this day by sending messages of love and affection to partners, family and friends.
What is the difference between Valentine and Valentine's Day? ›The standard spelling of the holiday that falls on February 14th is Valentine's Day. Valentine is singular and possessive, so it takes an apostrophe s. This is how it is spelled in edited writing everywhere. The day is named after Saint Valentine.
Is Valentine's Day only an American thing? ›In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century.